I guess it is like that because nothing is clear anymore. Which is both annoying for me, yet refreshing for my subconscious at the same time.
So this is my 97th post, which is an awesome number. Like 9/7. Another fantastic number.
Speaking of those numbers, I don't get to see you often anymore. It makes me more sad than I will ever really be able to express. Especially when I'm around you. I hear that absence makes the heart grow more fond. That it will strengthen us if we can go around this scheduling conflict that only allows us about twenty minutes a day to just talk and be us. I miss all the time we were able to spend together last year. But we will make it through, I just know it. There have already been tons of events between us that could have wedged a gap in between us, that could have made sure that the stars would never align for us. Somehow, we've stayed strong. I don't second guess your ability to stay strong and stick to what you want, but guess about mine all the time. It's hard for me to decide something, let alone stick with it for any large amount of time before I dabble in something else and get pulled in another direction. I don't know how you've kept me by you for so long. Whatever it is, don't stop doing it.
I love you. That's my favorite sentence, so simple, yet so complex. I hardly get to say it as often as I'd like, but when I do, I love that sentence all the more. Especially when it is reciprocated by you. How terrible it would be to think some people feel this way for others when they don't feel the same way back. I know it would tear me to pieces. And I know this is just another of the millions of reasons that I love you. I love how you're always there for me. I love how you're flustered and don't know what to say. I love how you tell me you only smile genuinely when you're thinking of me. I love your smile in general. I love the way you look at me with concern when I need someone to talk to. I love how our hands fit perfectly together, and how we each move to fix it when our hands aren't the 'right' way. I love how we both have our borderline OCD antics. I love it when you play with my hair. I love when you play with my hands, too. I love your kisses. I love how I feel so safe in your arms. I love how you're protective of me, it shows me you care. I love how you smell, and how you like how I do. I love how you're able to stay so strong. I love that you're so passionate about what you do, even when I don't always agree. I wish I could at least have that much fire inside me about something. I love it when you say 'yes dear', amongst other cheesy phrases. I love how you pull me back when I try to walk away. I love dancing with you. I love it when you sing, but then realize I'm listening and you get just a little bit quieter. I love how you're so tolerant of me, even when I couldn't be more wrong. I love stealing your jacket and sleeping in it. I love that you always tell me I am the most beautiful girl. I love that you actually sent me a postcard. I love that you keep the things I write to you because they mean something to you. I love that you were my first just about everything, yet the feelings never evaporated. I love how you'd do embarrassing things with me, if it was really what I wanted. I love that you don't care what people think for my sake. I love how you can still take my breath away, even after two years, and now it's even better. I love how this list could go on forever, like my love for you does. Essentially, I love you.
And thusly, my 97th post goes out to you.
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