She's never gonna love you like I want to.

It is not that there hasn't been anything to talk about lately, but I just haven't had the time to write it. There has been quite a bit going on, though, so I'm going to wrap this up as best as I possibly can.
Tuesday I went to Knotts with Dipali, Isamar, Skinkis, Tyler, Isaac, and Radha. It was interesting, with Isaac getting lost. I almost had to miss him (; Then I stayed at Dipali's house that night. The next day, I woke up and almost bit Dip's elbow. Haha. I had a craving for bumper cars, so we went to Knotts to go on a few rides. Then, we went to BPM/"the swap meet", haha. Well, Dip met up with Radha, and I went to go see Transformers 2 with Devlin, his mom, and brother. On my way out of the theater, I had a chance encounter with someone I just about never get to see in the summer. And that made me happy, but left me very--->confused? I don't even know. Dipali stayed at my house Wednesday night and Thursday night, and on Friday we went to the beach. After my mom driving us around for two hours, stopping for burritos, picking up Haley, and stopping at Smart and Final to get plates, cups, forks, and napkins, we finally got to the beach. It was an interesting time there, Ms. Morrissey was hilarious, as always. And Devlin knew Shahid and Isaac H from soccer--who knew he played soccer? Haha. That was about it for the last few days.

Now is the time I am normally extremely cryptic about something, but I think I will save that until a time where I even have the faintest idea about what is going on in my mind. I thought I was over this kind of thing, but, I'm changing. I can already tell.

"but you see right through me, if you only knew me, we could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable, instead of just invisible."

i gots me a gecko

named ed!
(:

writing in yearbooks makes me remember. i kind of like it.

i will say more this weekend.
i gotta go pick out my free dress outfit.

edgar was white?!?!

I shall cry if my cluster gets split:
Isaac: "We were all good kids before Eastridge's cluster. Edgar used to be white!"
Haha(:

Now, on to heavier things...
I'm sorry that I've never really made any attempt to have a conversation with you, it's just that I seem to mess up every time that I try to say anything. I've thought about this enough, and time is running out. I mean, in the big scale of life it isn't, but in this time frame it is. I'm afraid it will go on like this forever if I don't step out of my comfort zone a little bit and just say what I want to. From what I hear, read, and so on, you're quite a bit like me, so I don't see how it could be that hard, but it just is. Every single time I find a way to flub, mess up, trip over my words, act like a dork, whatever, call it what you want. But I just want to find a way to make it okay. I've decided that I've got to get a little courage once in awhile. Seriously, I can't expect everything to happen for me. Plus, I don't want to be known as 'that girl I don't really know' for very long, considering I went through that entirely in elementary school as 'the teacher's kid'. I want people to know who I am now. That's the difference. Before, I couldn't have cared less. I'm done trying to pretend I couldn't care less, I'm on to caring. Now that's decided, what next?

I'm more than:
-that teacher's kid
-a slutbag (now, really?)
-a person who talks to much
-someone who doesn't talk at all
-an over judgemental freak
-a freak (although that makes a good majority)
-y.l.b.g.
^That, my dears, is for me to know, and you... well, you'll see.

This came to mind quickly, so I just wrote. Now I'm going to sleep, another show day tomorrow!