You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess.

New TS music, fairy tales, pretty dresses, and true love make a weekend complete.
I can't wait until the full song comes out.
And the movie Valentine's Day.

I'm not going to write too much about formal other than it was last night, and I still feel amazing when I think about it and those vivid memories come back.

I love you.
And I still mean what I said last night about some moments just making me wonder what I could have ever seen in anyone else.

so this is how it feels

“Makes you feel good, doesn’t it? Having people want you, that is. Knowing, or at least feeling like you’re finally worth something. Sometimes even makes you make rash decisions, hurt people you never thought you would. It changes who you are. You suddenly value yourself so much in your life, and yet, at the same time, not at all. You make decisions you would never have before, since you didn’t have the chance. A new sense of self-worth engulfs your soul, telling you to go further and make more people want you. Next thing you know, you’re the ‘it’ item. But with every person that finds you to be something they want, you lose yourself in them. Become what they want. Then, you’re serving them. Compromising all you ever knew for the idealized version of yourself. You tell yourself it is all okay, because now you’re finally worth something. But the reality is that you are not yourself anymore. You can attribute that to all that you may, growing, the ever changing fibers of very being, but, deep down inside, you’ll always wonder who you would have been. Who you would have been without all the lies and cheating. Cheating others, cheating yourself. The worst thing is that I’ve only been able to realize it after feeling like I had lost everyone and everything that had ever mattered to me.”



It makes you think, doesn't it?
I'll tell you a secret about this little piece of writing if you ask.

hello new year!

Wow, I can't believe 2009 is officially gone, and a new decade has dawned upon us. This decade to most likely be my prime years, at that. Haha, anyway, I don't really have too many remarkable things to say, so I will put the things I do have to say in list form for maximum reading efficiency.
1. I'm staying at Ali's tonight, as I did last night as well. We went to go see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs with her sisters and nephews, and we are going to go see Paranormal Activity tonight, hopefully I will not be scarred for life after having seen that one. Wish me luck.
2. Kevin's party last night/this morning was amazingly fun. (: Hours of playing Sardines and Wii!
3. It is back to school all too soon.
4. I miss you, so very much. I can't wait to see you. You're the only reason I want to go back to school right now.

I want to be the one who gets to change her last name someday, to something that sounds more like yours.

"Someday falling in love with you
Holding your hand
Making our plans all come true
Someday under a sky so blue
I’ll give you my heart
Our story will start
Someday soon

Yeah I’ll be telling you I love you
On a picture perfect day
And those words inside my head
They sound like angels singing praise
It’s what I was made to say"




I love you.

GAHAAHAHAHAH

so frustrated.
still.
and now i'm worried.
and it's bottling up.
i feel like screaming and crying.
not like it would make anything better, really.
I just need a release.

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

Please.
I don't know why I am posting a blog.
I really don't have anything to say.
Maybe I just want to feel that rush of my fingers on a keyboard, or have the sound of the tapping drown out my thoughts as I fall victim to the drone of staring into the computer screen, letting the trance engulf my very being.
Or maybe I just wanted to be dramatic for a second there. It seemed to work out.. well?
Some random facts:
I want a pomegranate.
I would like to dance.
I'm worried about you still.
I enjoy your company.
And your family's.


I've been waiting, all there is left to do is run.

LAST DAY OF FIFTEEN<3

Bye-bye fifteen.

I don't think that being sixteen when I wake up will make too much of a difference, but it seems like a good enough chance to have a mental clean slate. I'm.. cheery, I suppose is a good word for it. Hopefully, I'm saying a complete goodbye to the awkward stage after this, but most likely not. It is okay, though. The awkward, yet funny, moments in my life are among the most cherished. Also, for the record, my mom was going to allow me to miss school tomorrow, but I am going of my own accord. Even though I will have to sit through Hale, Spanish, Alg2Trig, and Chemistry, somehow it is worth it.

Secondly, I feel the need to say I will always be proud of you. No matter how you mess up. Whether it's in soccer or in life. Because I love you, and I am proud to call you mine.


Hello sixteen.